August 26th, 2006
The Peoples Republic of Crumm Mountain is one of those strange Upstate New York mysteries that each day goes unsolved. According to The Peoples Republic of Crumm Mountain website, Crumm Mountain is
And so, the website which supposedly “is the product of a joint effort by the City of Crumm Mountain and various community organizations” begins with a vivid depiction of The Peoples Republic of Crumm Mountain.
“Wedged uncomfortably in the mountains of Upstate NY's Central Leatherstocking region, Crumm Mountain has become notorious as a mecca for freaks, intellectuals, punk rockers, anarchists, and just about anyone disaffected with society in some way, shape, or form. With a rich history steeped in working class action, including several general strikes, and a highly active socialist party, the city continues to lead the proletariat to its destiny with it's current Mayor Stan Grossman, of the Social Democratic Labor Party.”
However, from the very start one begins to doubt if this is actually a town located in Upstate New York. It seemed strange to me that after a Google Maps search for “Crumm Mountain” I couldn’t find anything and it got even weirder when I took a look at the rest of the website for Crumm Mountain.
There are certain things like their “Socio-economic Development” plan, which says that Upstate New York’s model of growth has “pitted cities against one another in an economically devastating race to the bottom.” It goes on to say that:
“The effects of these policy's are embarrassingly on display in upstate NY cities like Schenectady, Amsterdam, Hudson, and Newburgh, among many others. City governments grovel at the feet of business and industry leaders, sparing no effort to accommodate each and every demand they might come up with. Crumm Mountain takes the opposite approach. We are actually enacting policies designed to deter and drive out businesses.”
Then I looked at Crumm Mountains policy towards tourists, which states:
“Well, our policy toward tourists is simple. They suck. They're stupid, they're ugly, and did I mention they SUCK! They walk around cluttering up streets, restaurants, and shops looking for lame little souvenirs to bring back to their lame little homes in their lame little towns, they're just an utter nuisance. Several times I have proposed a city law banning entrance to our city for tourists.”
Does this sound like any town in Upstate New York to you?
So then, the curious minds ask Crumm Mountain – “Who, what, where, when, and why?”
The website for Crumm Mountain contains, almost everything one would ever want to know about the town, except for its exact whereabouts.
If you have any information leading to the further exploration into the depths of Crumm Mountain, the Upstate Community would be happy to hear from you. Perhaps someday, we will be able to unlock the mystery of The Peoples Republic of Crumm Mountain.